You are the Average of the Five People You Surround Yourself With

Written by Aakifa Shafeer

Family and friends don’t just exist in our lives. They play a much bigger role than we often notice. They shape the way we think, influence our decision-making, and affect our habits. They also impact how we feel about ourselves and how we deal with problems, often in subtle ways. There’s a saying that you are the average of the five people you spend the most time with. This highlights how powerful close relationships are in shaping our thoughts, behavior, and emotional well-being.

Why Friendships Matter at Every Age

Friendship and mental health go hand in hand. Friendships hold value from a very young age, providing emotional support, joy, a sense of belonging, and increased confidence. However, as people grow older, maintaining these friendships becomes more challenging due to increased responsibilities. Life stressors can make it difficult to sustain close relationships; however, having a support system is essential for coping with difficulties, emotional support, and avoiding isolation. (The London Psychiatry Centre, n.d.)

The Effect of Friendship on the body and brain

Friendship plays an important role in both brain function and mental health. Research shows that friendships activate brain systems linked to reward and social bonding, which helps explain why positive social interactions feel rewarding and motivating. The brain also engages regions involved in social understanding, helping people interpret others’ thoughts and emotions,which strengthens empathy and communication . In terms of mental health, strong social relationships are linked to better emotional well-being and resilience, while a lack of social connection can increase the risk of psychological difficulties such as depression. Overall, research highlights that friendship is not only socially important but also biologically essential for healthy brain development and mental well-being. (Brent, L. J. et al., 2014).

Friends influence habits and mindset.

Friendships encourage self-worth and remind individuals to value themselves. When confidence decreases, simple acts like receiving compliments or appreciation can improve self-esteem and provide emotional support. Friendship is a two-way relationship; giving encouragement benefits both the giver and the receiver by creating purpose and boosting self-image. Friends also support personal growth by promoting accountability, offering encouragement, and helping individuals step outside their comfort zones. Meaningful conversations can improve cognitive health and strengthen mental resilience over time. (Acenda Integrated Health, n.d.).In addition, friendships fulfil the basic human need for belonging, reducing feelings of isolation and supporting emotional stability. As a result, strong friendships can lower the risk of mental health problems and improve overall well-being. (Preece.C, 2025).

However, not all friendships are positive, and sometimes it becomes necessary to recognize when a friendship is no longer healthy and needs to end.

Friendship Breakups

Friendships are important, but some relationships can negatively affect our mental health. Recognizing when a friendship is hurting you and knowing when it’s time to let go is crucial. This may happen when a friend doesn’t show up for you, is manipulative, disrespectful, or dismisses your feelings. In such cases, protecting your mental well-being is more important than maintaining the friendship. When ending a friendship, it’s important to handle the situation with respect and kindness. (Elis Place Communications Team, 2023)

Overall, friendships play a powerful role in shaping mental health, behavior, and personal development. While positive relationships can support growth and resilience, unhealthy ones may have the opposite effect. Choosing meaningful and supportive connections is, therefore, an important part of maintaining well-being.

“You are the average of the five people you are closest to.
So choose your circle with care.”

References

Acenda Integrated Health. (n.d.). Why adult friendships are important to our mental health. https://acendahealth.org/blog/why-adult-friendships-are-important-to-our-mental-health/

Brent, L. J., Chang, S. W., Gariépy, J. F., & Platt, M. L. (2014). The neuroethology of friendship. Annals of the New York Academy of Sciences, 1316(1), 1–17. https://doi.org/10.1111/nyas.12315

Elis Place Communications Team. (2023, July 21). The power of friendship. https://elisplace.org/the-power-of-friendship/

Preece, C. (2025, June 2). Friendship for mental well-being. Teladoc Health UK. https://teladochealth.org.uk/blog/friendship-for-mental-wellbeing

The London Psychiatry Centre. (n.d.). Friendships and mental health: How can they help your mental health. https://www.psychiatrycentre.co.uk/blog/friendships-and-mental-health-how-can-they-help-your-mental-health/