Grief Is Personal: Why Everyone Experiences It Differently

Written by Aakifa Shafeer

Grief is complex and often unpredictable. It can come unexpectedly and may occur in waves, making it difficult to manage at times. Everyone experiences grief differently, and there is no single “right” way to grieve. Some people may take time to process their emotions, while others may grieve quietly and privately. Grief does not have to be loud or visible, nor does it look the same for everyone. What matters is that it makes sense to the individual experiencing it.

What Grief Really Feels Like

Grief is a natural emotional response to loss, especially when someone or something important is taken away. It can feel very intense and overwhelming. People often experience a wide range of emotions, including shock, anger, guilt, and deep sadness.

Grieving can also affect a person physically, making it hard to sleep, eat, or function normally. Coping with grief is one of the most difficult challenges a person may face in life. While grief is often associated with the death of a loved one, it is not limited to that. Any type of loss can lead to feelings of grief (Smith et al., 2026).

Dealing with Grief

Accept that grief is natural and necessary.
Grief is a normal and healthy response to loss. It cannot be rushed, and it shows that you are processing your emotions rather than suppressing them. Over time, it may ease as you begin to heal.
Allow yourself to experience the pain.
It is important to face your emotions instead of avoiding them. Taking time to grieve helps emotional healing, while ignoring your feelings can prolong the pain and keep you emotionally tied to the past (Gunter, 2020).
Maintain a meaningful connection while accepting the loss. Finding new ways to stay connected to a loved one can bring comfort, even as you come to terms with their absence.
Honor their memory in personal ways. Visit memorial places, create a meaningful space at home, or mark important dates to remember them.
Continue their values or legacy. Support causes they cared about or create something in their name, such as a project, tribute, or act of kindness.
Express your feelings openly. Talking about your feelings or writing letters can help you process emotions and find relief (Griefline, 2024).

While learning to cope with grief is important, it is equally important to understand that grief can return even after we think we have managed it.

When Grief Returns

Regardless of whether grief returns unexpectedly or in familiar situations, it is important to recognize and accept the emotions that come with it. Acknowledging these feelings and giving them a name can help with processing them. Remembering positive moments with the person you have lost, such as their unique habits or the way they made you feel, can bring comfort and help honor their memory.

Talking to a trusted friend or loved one can also be helpful, as many people find relief in expressing their emotions. Grief is not something that happens once and then disappears. It can return over time, sometimes when you least expect it. When it does, take a moment to acknowledge it, reflect on how it makes you feel, and decide how you want to respond. You may choose to hold onto the feeling for a while, share it with someone, or allow it to pass (Wray, 2021).

Even as we learn to cope, grief has a way of returning, often when we least expect it. This experience is beautifully captured in the metaphor of grief as glitter.

Grief is like glitter. In the beginning, it is everywhere: on your hands, in your hair, and scattered across every corner of your life. You try to clean it up and restore some sense of order. For a while, it may seem as though you have succeeded. Then, one day, you move a sofa or open a forgotten drawer, and there it is again: a tiny sparkle that catches the light and reminds you of what you lost.

It does not go away completely. It settles and becomes quieter and less overwhelming. You learn to live with it and carry it gently. Years later, when you find a bit of that glitter tucked behind a shelf, you might smile. Maybe you may even laugh, because it reminds you of love, connection, and someone who mattered deeply.

Eventually, something may catch your eye: a photo, a favorite song, or a familiar scent. Instead of pain, you may feel warmth. That is the quiet truth about grief. It stays with you, but it changes. It becomes part of your story, a soft echo of the love that never really left

(Survivors of Suicide Group, 2026).

References

Griefline. (2024, December 30). 5 strategies on how to deal with and cope with grief. https://www.griefline.org.au/resources/coping-with-grief/

Gunter, S. (2020, April 23). 5 tips for dealing with grief. Chase Oaks Church. https://www.chaseoaks.org/articles/five-tips-for-dealing-with-grief

Smith, M., Robinson, L., & Segal, J. (2026, February 13). Coping with grief and loss: Stages of grief, the grieving process, and learning to heal. HelpGuide.org. https://www.helpguide.org/mental-health/grief/coping-with-grief-and-loss

Survivors of Suicide Group. (2026, April 9). Grief is like glitter. In the beginning, it’s everywhere on your hands, in your hair, scattered across every corner of your life [Facebook post]. Facebook. https://www.facebook.com/survivorsofsuicidegroup/posts/grief-is-like-glitter-in-the-beginning-its-everywhere-on-your-hands-in-your-hair/1401425935355817/

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