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Even Candles Burn Out If Left Alone.
Written by Aakifa Shafeer
At some point in life, everyone feels overwhelmed. After all, we are human, and we feel things. Yet many of us stay silent, even when we truly need support. We are often taught and encouraged to ‘handle things by ourselves,’ so most of us hesitate to ask for help or don’t even consider it an option. Ironically, most of us are generous in offering support and being there for others, while we often fail to do the same for ourselves. As a result, reaching out can feel awkward, embarrassing, or even scary.
For many of us, asking for help doesn’t come naturally, and it’s not always easy to understand why.
Why do people hesitate to ask for help?
There may be several reasons why people are reluctant to ask for help. Some worry they might be seen as incapable, fragile, or subordinate. Research from Stanford student Kayla Good even found that children as young as seven can believe this. Others fear rejection, which can be embarrassing or even hurtful. Many also worry about burdening others or being a hassle. While these concerns may be more relevant in certain situations, they are all valid and familiar to everyone. (Zhao, X., 2022)
Why is asking for help actually a strength?
Asking for help is a natural and significant part of life. It reflects strength, resilience, and the readiness to prioritize our mental well-being by putting ourselves first. We do not have to wait until we feel burned out to reach out; seeking support proactively can protect our mental well-being and act as a preventive step. Everyone deserves access to support when navigating life’s challenges. Whether it is reaching out to a trusted friend, a family member, or even a professional, seeking support nurtures connection, strength, and validation. (Mental Health Support: It’s Okay to Ask for Help, 2024)
But what does asking for help actually look like in everyday life?
Small Ways to Reach Out
1) Making genuine requests
A sincere request can be accepted or declined without any particular consequence. In simple terms, getting upset when someone says “no” shows that your request wasn’t truly genuine, because you were attached to the outcome. When we ask for support without being tied to the result, we have more freedom in making the request, and the chances of actually receiving support are likely to increase.
2) Be easy to support
We can make it easier for others to help us by being open to their guidance, showing appreciation, and allowing them to support us in their own way instead of micromanaging. Accepting help when it’s offered also makes the process smoother for everyone.
3) The Power of Helping Others
When we focus on supporting others without keeping score, the benefits often come back to us in unexpected ways. Generously giving support reminds us of its value and creates a true “win-win” for everyone involved. (Robbins.M,2011)
Understanding the benefits of seeking support is one thing, but it’s equally important to rethink what ‘help’ actually represents
Reframing what help means
Let us reframe our perspective and redefine what help truly means. Help is not something you seek because you are inefficient. It is something we all need to coexist as life unfolds over the years. For example, help can be as simple as wearing glasses. You do not feel powerless using them; instead, you use them to function efficiently and with confidence. Reaching out for help is no different. (It’s OK to Ask for Help — here’s How to Start, 2025)
Humans generally benefit from social connections and appear biologically and psychologically oriented toward relationships. We are not meant to get through life’s storms all by ourselves. Whether it’s talking to a friend, a family member, or even a trusted therapist, sharing your thoughts and feelings can lift the weight you’re carrying and help bring clarity. Even a candle burns out if left alone. (It’s Okay to Ask for Help, 2025)
References
Elliapp. (2025, May 5). It’s OK to ask for help—here’s how to start. https://www.elliapp.co/its-okay-to-ask-for-help-heres-how-to-start
Help Clinic Canada. (2024, May 10). Mental health support: It’s okay to ask for help. https://helpclinic.ca/blog/its-okay-to-ask-for-help/
Mind Bridge. (2025, June 13). It’s okay to ask for help. https://mindbridge.org.uk/2025/06/13/its-okay-to-ask-for-help/
Robbins, M. (2011, January 27). It’s okay to ask for help. https://mike-robbins.com/its-okay-to-ask-for-help/
Zhao, X. (2022, September 8). Why asking for help is hard, but people want to help more than we realize. Stanford News. https://news.stanford.edu/stories/2022/09/asking-help-hard-people-want-help-realize
